Contest Prep Week 8 Weigh-In

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This update is really late because I hard an extremely difficult time getting into the right mindset to write it.

Two months into contest prep.  Eeesh.  I’d like to tell you I’ve gotten the hang of this.  I’d like to tell you it’s getting easy and I don’t want to eat EVERYTHING.  I’d like to tell you I didn’t have a week long mental breakdown.

But I can’t do that.

I CAN tell you, I’m excellent at meal prepping.  This week, I stuck to my diet and most of my workout plan.  I struggled to fit in cardio.  I had trouble getting up every day.  Trouble getting the kids out the door.  Trouble with one of my kids in daycare.  I was pretty much an emotional wreck most of the week.

Here’s your reminder of where I began.  Starting weight of 197.5 pounds.

2014_09_06Day1
Week 1 5.5 pounds lost, bringing me to 192.

Week 2 1.5 pounds lost, and 190.5 pounds.

Week 3 2.5 pounds lost, and 188 pounds.

Week 4 1.5 pounds lost, and 186.5 pounds.

Week 5 1 pound GAIN, and 187.5 pounds.

Week 6 0.5 pound lost, and 187 pounds.

Week 7 4.5 pounds lost, and 182.5 pounds.

(Keeping weekly progress in posts for now.)

And on weigh-in morning…

2013_11_01Week8WeighIn

Week 8 Weigh In: 181.5 pounds

Weight Lost: 1 pound (16 pounds total)

Better than nothing.

I struggle with the up and down weight loss.  I dread Fridays and I hate the scale.

I’m trying to be happy with everything I accomplish and stop thinking about what I haven’t.  I’m trying to look at this journey in small nibbles.  One day or one week at a time.

It’s overwhelming to think about only being 8 weeks into prep and having another 16-20 to go.  I keep feeling like I should have lost more weight by now.

I know I’m irrational.  I know this.  I’m down 16 pounds in 8 weeks, 2 pounds a week average.  That’s fantastic.  Faster than I’ve ever dropped weight in the past.

If you knew me personally, you’d know that I’m a perfectionist.  That if I can’t do something the way I want, then I probably just won’t do it all.  And I’m never satisfied.  I always feel like I should be better.

Example.  I cried for weeks my junior year in high school over the A- that ruined my 4.0, preventing me from being valedictorian.  I ended up being salutatorian.

“But Addie, you know how many people would be thrilled just to graduate with honors?  You got to give a speech at graduation!”

Those people aren’t me.  I expect more of myself.  I don’t care what other people do.  I want to be better.

Seriously though, chill out, Addie.  You used to look like this…

IMG_20131101_225748
After my first son was born in 2008, I weighed around 290 and retained a lot of water at the end of my pregnancy.

And you looked like this… the picture that prompted this weightloss journey…

IMG_20120613_213939
At my mom’s wedding in March of 2011. I have this posted on my bedroom wall.

Sometimes, I feel like I’ve disconnected myself with who I used to be, that this is someone else I’m looking at pictures of.   I can hardly remember anymore what it was like to be her, because I’ve tried to block out the sadness.  And yet I still feel her insecurities in a different way.

Though, I’m happy not to be fat and unhealthy anymore, I concentrate too much on reaching the “final product” instead of relishing in what my body is now.  Like somehow I’m not allowed to be happy with myself until I get the body I want…

Okay, venting/ranting/rambling over.  I needed to clear my head.  I feel semi-better.  I’m working on loving myself all the time instead of in phases.  Thanks for being here.

Lessons Learned & Highlights of the Week:

  • New leg day.
    After sending my progress from week 7 to my trainer, he questioned whether my leg routine was making my glutes hurt to which I replied no.  My glutes must be lagging in progress, so he sent over a new leg routine.Basically, it kicked my ass hard.  It seems to target my glutes and hamstrings a lot more.

    A new thing I do now is high rep sets on leg press (previously was 20, now 30) and superset that with walking dumbbell lunges.  WOW.  What a difference.  I also do smith machine step backs which I didn’t think I would like but really enjoy.

  • Halloween.
    I let my kids go trick-or-treating with their dad while I had a make up cardio session at the gym.  I’m not really into the trick-or-treating and didn’t want to be tempted with candy, so not a big deal to me if he took them.

    And NO, I did not decide to hand out candy, bought with my hard earned money, while secretly judging all the fat parents sitting in their cars between houses.When they came home, I separated EVERYTHING I LIKE and sent it back with their dad!  Milky Ways, SNICKERS, M&Ms, basically all chocolate, Skittles and Starburst…. loaded ’em back into a bag and sent them out the door.  Temptation resisted.

    I prefer they don’t eat all that candy anyway, so I’ll keep it a couple weeks and let them have a few pieces.  I’ll trash it all after that.  What a wasteful holiday.

  • Heels.
    During week 7, my contest heels came!  I forgot to mention that.I ordered them so early for a few reasons.
    1. I’m tall and awkward.
    2. I never wear heels.
    3. I have giant feet.

    These are size 13s and I was lucky to find them on Amazon after a lot of searching (many cross dressing sites were visits).  I really wear wide size 12s, but going up a size will usually get me by without wide width.

    IMAG1160
    Luckily, the clear plastic is fairly pliable.  My feet are crammed in there and if not for the flexibility they wouldn’t have fit!

    I decided to give them a try with a bikini on as well.  I felt utterly ridiculous.

    BikiniPicWeek1toWeek7FRONT
    As always, I love to hear from readers.  Let me know your story or just comment to say you came by.  🙂

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9 thoughts on “Contest Prep Week 8 Weigh-In

    Laura said:
    November 6, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    Maybe you lost a pound this week, but DAMN GIRL! Look at that belly! Or lack thereof. 🙂 I’m so proud of you! You’re doing so great and progressing wonderfully! You’re such an inspiration that you got my hobbly-ass in the gym 🙂 5 a.m. every day this week doing 45 min of cardio, as well as weight circuits. 🙂

      Fit.Fat.Fut. Addie responded:
      November 6, 2013 at 3:57 pm

      Thank you! 🙂 I’m excited to hear you’re back at the gym. How great that you have that support in your life now too! Excited to hear about your progress too.

    Kallai Cunningham said:
    November 6, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Seriously. look at your bikini picture. Absolutely gorg! Your hips! Your boobs are perky and your face looks happy and you have a glow! THIS is the post I have been waiting for. This is when I start second guessing…at 8 weeks. I have this same struggle BUT guess what? Your boys have a HOTT mom! She is fit, she is at a much lower risk for heart disease and a million other things. SHE, yes, THIS woman is a warrior and should celebrate showing her boys what it means to live healthy! Celebrate YOU because YOU are worth it and YOU are bad ass! be proud of that effing pound. you worked hard for it.

      Kallai Cunningham said:
      November 6, 2013 at 4:05 pm

      And not to mention…you have a space between your thighs!!! #winning #bikinimom #loveyou

      Fit.Fat.Fut. Addie responded:
      November 6, 2013 at 4:39 pm

      You are too kind. 🙂 Glad to have your support, Kallai! And I always enjoy your comments.

    Shanda Noelle said:
    November 6, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    First of all, I absolutely LOVE the weekly updates and looking at all the information. There’s a million different cliche things that I could say to you right now that wouldn’t even do you justice, and I’m extremely positive that you could start naming them off yourself. Its just very meaningful to have found a woman with a similar story and goals as myself who is willing to put herself out there unashamed and to tell it like it is. No glory story, no super sappy drama. Just life as we live it every day with the reality that life nor ourselves are perfect 100% of the time. Sometimes your posts are the only things that keep me grounded in life at that moment. To do my best to work through the now and live with the consequences later. To keep trying every time I quit. I appreciate your online presence and what you have to say. Even if it isn’t much. Even if you don’t get much accomplished during your week. You’re a hero to some of us. And that’s all that matters.

      Fit.Fat.Fut. Addie responded:
      November 6, 2013 at 5:19 pm

      The fact that I can help anyone with the slightest motivation is humbling to me. I’m so happy you enjoy my posts, it really makes it worth writing them to hear feedback like this. I hope you’re doing well with your boyfriend and kids! Keep it up!

    Liz Stuart said:
    November 6, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    Dude, your progress is unbelievable. I’m seriously proud to know such a resilient, hard-working, diligent, kick-ass person!!! I think you probably have no idea how many people you are inspiring with your crazy journey.

      Fit.Fat.Fut. Addie responded:
      November 14, 2013 at 4:59 pm

      Thanks so much, Liz. You know I think you’re kick ass. 🙂

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