figure prep
Unconditional
{Written December 13th on my 27th birthday.}
Lately, I’ve had a really hard time writing blog entries. I can’t process my thoughts into anything cohesive.
I’ve typed a couple short drafts. I’ve also written about 10 posts in my head. Basically, after it’s “written” in my head, I don’t have any desire to try and recreate the “perfection” that it was and so it’s lost in oblivion.
All of those lost blogs covered mainly one subject: my desire to quit contest prep.
Throughout any given day, if you were in my head, you’d hear a voice trying to convince me that I’m awesome and I can do anything… quickly followed by how much I suck and don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to think about macros or weighing in every week or taking pictures to send my coach or writing blog updates about it when I feel like my body isn’t changing anymore and my gut is huge.
The truth is… my body is most definitely changing. It doesn’t matter if my weight isn’t much.
And yes, I’ve said that before about the scale, but the obstacle really holding me back was this fixation I have on my stomach. I’d see changes in other places, but look down at my stomach, feel depressed and immediately want to binge, which is counter productive.
This morning, oh this morning, I had a REVELATION.
The Daily Grind
Someone the other day said they’d like to see what a typical day for me is like. I’ll preface this by saying I DON’T HAVE TYPICAL DAYS. Ha. Basically, when you’re a busy single mom trying to balance a full time job, part time job, two children, gym time and taking care of a household, not to mention all the unexpected things that may arise, your days are ANYTHING but typical.
I can, however, try to tell you what a day for me sort of looks like.
Fit. Fat. Fut. 